Rediscovering You Blog Post
If you feel any discomfort reading the title of today’s blog post, you aren’t alone! For many, the thought of loving, forgiving, believing, and talking to yourself as you would your best friend can feel daunting. Scary. Uncomfortable. Creepy. Insert whichever word(s) you feel. For some, this may even feel like an unattainable goal at the present moment.
When we hear someone say, “you just need to love yourself”, there may be some of you here that have already rolled your eyes, said ‘whatever’, and maybe even began to debate whether or not to click out of this blog post. We get it! As simple as the phrase ‘love yourself’ sounds, it can be one of the most difficult things to do. We don’t want to feel selfish. We don’t feel that our needs are important enough. We may have a mental illness that makes it more difficult to believe in your own worth the way you deserve. Here is the deal – we aren’t here to say ‘just do it’. We aren’t Nike! We are here to say, if you are able to love yourself like you are your own best friend, kudos! Keep up the great work! If you are working on loving yourself the way you deserve but aren’t there yet, kudos! Keep up the great work! If you don’t even know where to start in beginning your journey in learning to love yourself, kudos to you, too, for reading this and starting to think about how this can look! Keep up the great work!
The beauty of your ‘self-love’ journey is that it can be started at ANY POINT. The journey is one that will have bumps along the way. The journey is one that you may find yourself starting, stopping, and restarting along the way. The journey is one that you may want to do with others support. The journey is one that will be an ongoing process – you don’t meet your goal and then stop working at it. Most of all, this journey is yours and yours alone. It is one that will look different from day to day and that is okay. It is never too late to start, too late to learn, and too late to try!
A 2014 article from Psychology Today provided three wonderful strategies for learning how to love ourselves. Given how daunting learning self-love can be, we wanted to share these three strategies with you rather than throwing tons of information, tips, tools, and strategies out that leads to glazed over eyes and feeling overwhelmed. The strategies include:
1. Care as much about yourself as you do for others. Caring for yourself, giving yourself grace, forgiveness, love, compassion, empathy, and removing judgment is not selfish! It is what everyone deserves…including you.
2. Maintain your boundaries. Have a piece of paper or journal close by? Grab it! Write a list of the things that you need emotionally, the things that are important to you, and the things that upset you/hurt your feelings when they are ignored and/or violated. Anything that feels important to you is important. Talk about what your boundaries are with others and process through the emotions that come with it. You can be assertive with your boundaries while still being respectful. There is also a boundaries workbook available on our website to help you along the way if this would be of use. Find what works for you!
3. Do what you need to do to be you. What makes you feel good? Happy? Taken care of? Supported? Loved? Fulfilled? Valued? Whatever that is – embrace it! Anything that helps fill your cup, that is healthy of course, do it! Do more of what makes you feel happy and puts a smile on your face J
Each of these areas are discussed in greater detail in the Psychology Today article, which we highly encourage reading, but hopefully this post can get you thinking about the importance and the value of loving yourself the way you deserve. You matter, both on the good and not so good days, and deserve your love always!
As we go about the rest of our week, we want to leave you with some hopes that we have for you…
I hope you can learn to love yourself the way that you deserve.
I hope that you can give yourself the grace and forgiveness for any past, current, or future hurdles that life can toss your way.
I hope that you know that those hurdles are not failures, but instead are amazing learning experiences that will continue to shape you into the beautiful and resilient person you are.
I hope you can give yourself the positive affirmations that you so openly and willingly give to others.
I hope you know and believe that you are worth of your own love, forgiveness, trust, empathy, grace, and positive self-talk.
I hope you give yourself the dedicated time to learn who you really are, and rediscover what makes you special.
I hope you know that you can be your own very best friend.
You deserve you.